Monday Reset: When you can't stop replaying what they said
This week's focus: Recover from emotional spirals faster
Someone said something. Maybe it was criticism at work. Maybe your friend didn’t text back. Maybe someone’s tone felt off.
And now you can’t stop replaying it. You’re convinced they hate you. That you messed everything up. That you’re too much, not enough, fundamentally broken.
Your brain has turned a small moment into a catastrophe, and you can’t think about anything else. You can’t sleep. You can’t focus. You’re stuck in a spiral.
Your Brain This Week
Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, or RSD, is an extreme emotional response to perceived rejection or criticism. For us, what feels like mild feedback to someone else can feel like a full-body attack. Our brains amplify rejection. The emotional pain is real, physical, overwhelming. And once it starts, it’s hard to make it stop.
That’s why “just let it go” or “don’t take it personally” doesn’t work.
This Week’s Strategy: The Three Strikes Rule
If it comes back three times, write it down.
How it works:
Sometimes a thought pops up, you feel the sting, and then it fades. But when the same moment keeps coming back, that’s when you know your brain is looping on it. The Three Strikes Rule helps you tell the difference between a passing thought and an RSD spiral.
Here’s what to do:
When something happens that triggers the RSD feeling (criticism, rejection, a weird tone), notice it. That’s Strike One. See if it passes on its own.
If the thought comes back later (you’re replaying it, analyzing it, feeling that pit in your stomach again), that’s Strike Two. Still, give it a chance to fade.
If it comes back a THIRD time, that’s your signal. Your brain is stuck in a loop. Now you write it down:
Open your notes app or grab paper
Brain dump everything you’re feeling about it
Write until you run out of things to say
Why this works: If something comes back three times, your brain is telling you it can’t process this on its own. Writing it down gets it out of the loop and onto something external, where it stops spinning in your head. The thoughts might still come back after that, but they’ll feel lighter. Easier to let pass.
The 2-Minute Worksheet
The last time something kept coming back to me: _______________________
Examples: criticism at work, friend didn’t respond, someone’s tone, felt judged, made a mistake
How many times did I replay it before I dealt with it: _______________________
Examples: all day, dozens of times, couldn’t stop thinking about it, lost sleep over it
This week, when something hits Strike Three, I’ll write it down in: _______________________
Examples: notes app on my phone, a journal by my bed, a random piece of paper, a Google doc
Grab a piece of paper or open a note on your phone and fill in the blanks above. It takes 2 minutes. You can even comment below, others will see it and cheer you on :)
I've seen a lot of stuff about RSD in recent years, and I always think "Thank goodness that is one ADHD trait I don't seem to have."
But then I remembered how when I was a child, I was 100% absolutely convinced that every single one of my teachers hated me. Looking back, it that seems somewhat unlikely. It makes much more sense that I had raging RSD and interpreted every "Use your inside voice," "Please stop squirming around," and "You didn't turn in the assignment, so I have to give you a 0 on it" as "KID, I ABSOLUTELY HATE YOU AND WANT YOU TO DIE."
I’m still spiraling over something that happened on Thanksgiving 😅