Self-Care for ADHD: Permission to Put Yourself First
Self-care strategies that fit your brain and life.
Self-care feels impossible when you have ADHD. And frankly, a little insulting too.
"Just drink more water" sounds patronizing when your brain forgets basic bodily needs. "Make time for yourself" feels laughable when you can barely remember to eat lunch. And don't get me started on those morning routine videos that assume you can wake up at the same time every day without snoozing through six alarms.
Your ADHD brain has perfectly logical objections: Why waste time on a shower when there are emails piling up? How can you justify a walk when your to-do list is screaming? Self-care feels selfish, time-consuming, and honestly, kind of boring compared to hyperfocusing on that random project at midnight.
Self-care isn't about following someone else's wellness playbook. It's about finally giving yourself permission to prioritize your own needs and figuring out what actually works for your ADHD brain. It's essential for all ADHDers.
As always, stick around until the end for our Apply It worksheet so the tips actually stick and change starts to happen (otherwise you'll forget everything you read by the time you go to sleep)!
Is self-care even important? (Spoiler: yes, it is!)
Self-care is crucial for living well with ADHD. We're not talking about 8-step skincare routines that influencers promote (though it could be if that works for you), but the core building blocks you need to manage and thrive with your ADHD symptoms.
Let's define what we mean by self-care: Oxford Languages calls it "the practice of taking an active role in protecting one's own wellbeing and happiness."
Read that again. Does that sound like a nice to have or a must have? Exactly. It's essential.
The different tiers of self-care
For people with ADHD, self-care breaks down into two essential tiers. The first tier covers basic survival, what your body needs to physically function (brushing teeth, showering regularly). The second tier, which gets ignored far too often, covers what your ADHD brain needs to actually thrive (movement, mental clarity, boundaries). Here are some examples:
Body essentials:
Somewhat balanced nutrition
Adequate hydration
Regular sleep (even if the timing is unconventional)
Basic hygiene routines (brushing, showering)
Taking medications consistently
Brain essentials:
Mental decluttering (like writing when overwhelmed)
Regular movement that feels good
Social connection on your terms
Quiet time to decompress
Creative outlets or hyperfocus time
Here's the problem: societal pressure forces us to maintain the basics in tier one, but tier two, the stuff that actually helps us manage ADHD, gets completely overlooked.
Why self-care is hard
Like most things ADHD, the issues with self-care come down to executive function and dopamine. But there's another big piece we'll get to: how we deprioritize our own needs. First, let's quickly go over the brain science.
ADHD affects two key systems that make self-care challenging. First, executive function, think of it as your brain's project manager that handles planning, prioritizing, and following through on tasks. In ADHD brains, this system is constantly overwhelmed, struggling to juggle daily responsibilities while also managing self-care routines. Second, dopamine, the neurotransmitter that drives motivation and helps you see tasks through to completion. ADHD brains have lower baseline dopamine levels, which means activities that feel naturally rewarding to others (like taking a relaxing bath) can feel boring or impossible to start for you.
But here's what I really want to focus on: many of you reading this weren't diagnosed as children. You discovered you had ADHD in your late 30s, 40s, or even later. That means you spent decades not understanding why everything felt harder.
During those years, you developed some deeply ingrained patterns. You learned to put everyone else's needs first because yours seemed "too much." You internalized messages that you were lazy or not trying hard enough. You became an expert at pushing through and deprioritizing your own wellbeing.
Getting your ADHD diagnosis was just the first step. Now comes the harder work: unlearning decades of shame and giving yourself permission to prioritize your needs. You've been running on empty for so long that rest feels selfish. But amongst all of life's chaos, you need to prioritize yourself, your health, and your happiness. That isn't selfish, that's just basic self-care.
Some ideas to get started
Start stupid small. Break self-care tasks into pieces so tiny they feel almost silly. Instead of "take a shower," try "turn on bathroom light." Once you're there, momentum often carries you forward naturally.
Figure out what self-care actually means for you. Forget Instagram wellness. Ask yourself: What makes you feel recharged? What helps when you're overwhelmed? Maybe it's organizing your music library at midnight, not morning yoga. Honor what actually works for your brain.
Give yourself permission to prioritize your needs. Practice saying "I need this" without justifying it to others or yourself. Start small: take the lunch break, buy the comfortable shoes, say no to the extra commitment. Your needs aren't negotiable.
Dopamine first, discipline second. Pair boring self-care with something your brain actually wants. Listen to a favorite podcast while cooking, or keep your phone nearby during skincare routines if that helps you stick with it. This has helped me a lot.
Use your hyperfocus windows. When you feel that rare burst of motivation, batch similar self-care tasks together. Prep several meals, organize your medication, and restock your snack drawer all at once.
Create visible cues everywhere. Put your vitamins next to your coffee maker. Keep healthy snacks at eye level. Place your workout clothes on your bedroom floor. Your environment should remind you to care for yourself without relying on memory.
Embrace good enough. Progress isn't linear, and perfection isn't the goal. A granola bar is better nutrition than skipping meals entirely. Five minutes of movement counts more than zero. Your brain responds better to consistency than perfection.
Design recovery protocols. Plan for overwhelm before it happens. Create a simple "reset kit" with easy foods, comfort items, and one-step activities you can turn to when everything feels too hard.
Dive into our Apply It worksheet (paid subscriber perk)
This week's worksheet is all about turning self-care from an overwhelming concept into actual doable actions. It walks you through identifying what's blocking you, breaking down tasks into ridiculously small steps, and figuring out what actually recharges your specific ADHD brain. You'll pair boring necessities with things you enjoy, create your own 'good enough' standards, and pick one or two tiny wins to start with. It's not about becoming a wellness guru, just about making basic self-care feel less impossible.
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When self-care clicks in real life
Solange Knowles, a Grammy-winning singer-songwriter and Beyoncé’s sister, has said she was diagnosed with ADHD twice and initially did not believe the first result. In talking about her album era, she framed self-care as an active choice: at times she chose not to watch traumatic news so she could “exist” that day and keep home as a safe space. She has also stepped back from social media when needed, deleting her Twitter account in 2017 and describing the move as self-preservation amid the Charlottesville fallout.
In a 2020 Harper’s Bazaar essay, she wrote about surrendering to stillness, clearing her schedule, getting sleep, and finding calm by the water. None of this is presented as magic. It is boundary-setting that helps her focus her energy on the work she cares about, including “Cranes in the Sky,” which earned her the 2017 Grammy for Best R&B Performance.
Tool we’re loving: Routinery
Speaking of routines and breaking things down, we included Routinery in our ADHD Essentials Bundle (yes, shameless plug, I know) because it's literally built for ADHD brains that get stuck on multi-step tasks.
Instead of trying to remember your entire morning routine, you set up visual timers for each tiny step. Your phone guides you through: "Turn on bathroom light - 1 minute," then "Start shower - 10 minutes." No thinking, no executive function drain, no getting stuck staring at the bathroom door.
It's not perfect. Some find the notifications annoying, and if you hate structure, this might feel too rigid. But for those mornings when even "get ready" feels overwhelming, it removes all the mental work of figuring out what comes next. Learn more about the different apps and how to redeem by clicking the orange text here.
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