Your ADHD Brain Can't Tell What's Actually Urgent, Here's How to Figure It Out
Why your ADHD brain can't tell the difference, and what actually deserves your energy right now
It’s 8:47pm on a Wednesday.
You’re staring at your phone, scrolling through the 47 things that needed to happen today: work emails you haven’t answered, your kid’s permission slip that was due yesterday, your mom’s medication refill you forgot to call in, the bills piling up on the counter, dinner that somehow needs to materialize, your spouse who’s been trying to talk to you about something important for three days, your friend’s birthday you completely forgot about, and that project due Friday that you haven’t even started.
You feel like you’re drowning.
Here’s what nobody tells you about ADHD: You’re not supposed to do all of this. Not because you’re broken or lazy, but because your brain literally cannot process and prioritize this many competing demands at once.
Today’s worksheet is going to help you pick just three things. Not all 47. Three.
Why Everything Feels Equally Urgent
Your ADHD brain struggles with three specific things that make prioritization feel impossible:
Working memory is like a leaky bucket. You’re trying to hold “call doctor, email boss, buy groceries, pay bills, help with homework” in your head all at once, but your working memory can only grip about 2-3 things before the rest starts spilling out. So everything feels urgent because you’re terrified you’ll forget it.
Time is a vague concept. That bill due in two weeks? Feels as urgent as the one due tomorrow. The project due Friday? Doesn’t register as “close” until Thursday night.
Emotional urgency overrides actual importance. When your friend texts asking for a favor, your emotional brain screams “RESPOND NOW OR YOU’RE A BAD FRIEND!” That urgency feels just as intense as the work deadline that could actually affect your job.
Every single thing on your list is screaming at you with the same volume. And when everything is urgent, your brain just freezes.
The Invisible Weight
Let’s talk about the invisible mental load.
If you’re an adult with ADHD, you’re likely carrying the cognitive burden of managing not just your own life, but everyone else’s too. Doctor appointments, birthday presents, permission slips, grocery lists, social obligations, aging parents’ needs, your partner’s schedule, and what everyone will eat for dinner.
And society expects you to do this seamlessly while also working full-time, keeping a clean house, being emotionally available, and somehow having time for self-care.
You are allowed to let things slide.
You are allowed to send your kid to school with store-bought cupcakes. To let emails sit unanswered for 48 hours. To order takeout three nights this week. To tell your friend “I can’t help you move this weekend.” To do a “good enough” job on things that don’t truly matter.
This Week’s Apply It Worksheet (Paid Subscribers)
This week’s worksheet helps you stop drowning in responsibilities and start protecting what truly matters. You’ll brain dump all those competing demands, reality-check what’s actually non-negotiable, and build your personal “not-doing” list so you can finally make intentional choices about where your limited ADHD energy goes.
How to Actually Choose Your Priorities (ADHD-Friendly Edition)
1. The Brain Dump
Your working memory can’t hold everything, so stop trying. Grab your phone or notebook and dump EVERYTHING out. Every task, every worry, every “I should probably...”