I was a “gifted” child - tested way above average, but couldn’t work in a systematic way. At college, it was anxiety and depression.
In my thirties, I married a man whom I came to realize years later was a narcissist. The anxiety ramped up, because everything I did for him was WRONG in at least one way. I tried so hard to be a good wife, thinking of anything I could do to make him happy with me, but he needed to control me and that included my narrative.
After 12 years, I got out, and started rebuilding my entire life. I married a man who supported me unconditionally as I navigated through cancer and menopause. An ADHD diagnosis brought appropriate treatment, and I’m still having “aha!” moments reframing incidents in my past as ADHD.
Thank you for this insight. It will make unpacking my first marriage easier, and allow me to lead myself through that with kindness. I wasn’t a bad wife; he was a bad man, and I was scrambling so hard because of the ADHD.
It's so hard to know if it's perimenopause, burnout as a SEN parent, alzheimers (my grandma), stress, or undiscovered neurodivergence. What if you felt fine all your life? Like, actually you were coping and felt "normal".
I was a “gifted” child - tested way above average, but couldn’t work in a systematic way. At college, it was anxiety and depression.
In my thirties, I married a man whom I came to realize years later was a narcissist. The anxiety ramped up, because everything I did for him was WRONG in at least one way. I tried so hard to be a good wife, thinking of anything I could do to make him happy with me, but he needed to control me and that included my narrative.
After 12 years, I got out, and started rebuilding my entire life. I married a man who supported me unconditionally as I navigated through cancer and menopause. An ADHD diagnosis brought appropriate treatment, and I’m still having “aha!” moments reframing incidents in my past as ADHD.
Thank you for this insight. It will make unpacking my first marriage easier, and allow me to lead myself through that with kindness. I wasn’t a bad wife; he was a bad man, and I was scrambling so hard because of the ADHD.
It's so hard to know if it's perimenopause, burnout as a SEN parent, alzheimers (my grandma), stress, or undiscovered neurodivergence. What if you felt fine all your life? Like, actually you were coping and felt "normal".