Consistency is not a word in your dictionary. Along with other missing words like "organized," "reliable," and "has their life together."
You meal-prepped like a champion for three weeks straight. Lunches packed, dinners planned, grocery lists color-coded by store aisle. People actually complimented your organizational skills. You felt like you'd finally cracked the code of being a functioning adult.
Then Tuesday arrived and opening the fridge felt overwhelming. The same meal planning that felt effortless last week now seems impossible. You order takeout for the third time this week, staring at ingredients you bought with such good intentions.
If I could do it before, why can't I do it now? What's wrong with me?
But what if there's actually a way to work with these cycles instead of against them? Stick around for the strategies, and the “Apply It” worksheet that'll help you actually implement them instead of just nodding along.
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When everyone needs you to be "on"
It sucks to be inconsistently consistent when people depend on you. Some days you're the person with color-coded systems and proactive planning. Other days you're hiding in the bathroom, overwhelmed by basic life logistics.
Society tells you that reliable people are good people. That caring individuals are consistent. That if you really cared about others, you'd have your act together every single day.
But your ADHD brain literally runs on cycles. Some weeks your executive function fires on all cylinders. Other weeks it's running on empty. You're not choosing to be unreliable, your brain chemistry is fluctuating in ways that make consistency neurologically impossible.
The real deal about your cycles
Inconsistency is the hallmark of ADHD, especially for adults managing multiple lives.
Your brain creates 40% more intense focus when something captures your interest, but significantly lower baseline dopamine between those peaks. Think lightning strikes followed by quiet stretches. During lightning strikes, you organize entire events in one afternoon. During quiet stretches, remembering to buy milk feels impossible.
You're not choosing this. It's neurochemistry.
But the part that really hurts: the people in your life depend on your consistency. Your coworkers need project updates. Your aging parents need coordinated care. Your friends expect you to remember the important stuff.
When your brain cycles don't align with their needs, the shame is crushing. It feels like you're failing the people who count on you.
The shame spiral is real
That crushing feeling when you can't replicate last week's success? When you forget something important again? That's your nervous system flooding you with shame signals that feel like physical pain.
Your brain processes disappointment in yourself as rejection. And when you're the person everyone depends on for remembering, planning, and coordinating, that rejection feels like proof you're inadequate.
You've internalized the message that consistency equals caring. That reliable people are good people. When your brain makes consistency impossible, you blame yourself instead of understanding that you're trying to force a cyclical system into linear expectations.
The invisible mental load you carry makes this worse. You're not just managing your own tasks, you're holding everyone else's needs in your head. Work deadlines, appointments, social obligations, household maintenance, family coordination. When your executive function fluctuates, this mental Jenga tower becomes overwhelming.
Stop fighting your cycles. Start planning for them.
What if consistency doesn't mean doing the same amount every day? What if it means organizing your life around your brain's natural rhythms instead of fighting them?
Track your personal energy map
For one week, rate your energy 1-10 every few hours. You'll discover your pattern. Maybe you're sharp 9-11am but crash at 2pm. Maybe you hit peak focus at 8pm while everyone else winds down.
Use this. Schedule important work during natural highs. Save mindless tasks for low periods. Stop trying to do complex thinking when your brain is running on empty!
Set a daily "switch limit"
Your ADHD brain burns massive energy every time you change tasks. Switching from email to reports to phone calls to meetings, each transition costs you.
Limit yourself to 3-4 major switches per day. Batch similar tasks together. Answer all emails at once. Make all phone calls in one block. Return all texts together.
This prevents the energy bleed that leaves you exhausted by noon.
Hijack boring tasks with dopamine
Your brain needs dopamine to activate for uninteresting work. But you can trick it.
Play specific music during paperwork. Work from a coffee shop for mundane tasks. Use colorful pens for note-taking. Pair the boring with something your brain actually wants.
Create your energy menu
Make two lists: activities that energize you versus those that drain you. Be specific. "Ten-minute walk" energizes. "Endless email threads" drain.
When planning your week, balance every energy-draining task with something that refills you. Don't stack three draining meetings in one morning.
Plan for two different versions of you
"High-energy you" tackles complex projects and difficult conversations. "Low-energy you" needs a preset menu of simple tasks that still feel productive.
Have both systems ready. When you can't access high-energy mode, you won't spiral into shame. You'll just switch to your low-energy playbook.
Implementing these strategies requires taking note of your specific patterns, knowing your unique triggers, and building systems that fit your actual life. You need to map out how you currently function, plan around your energy instead of just your calendar, and create backup plans that don't make you feel worse when you need them.
Your inconsistency is a pattern that becomes manageable once you stop fighting it and start planning for it.
Dive into our Apply It worksheet (Paid Subscriber Perk)
Tired of feeling like you're failing everyone who depends on you? This week’s worksheet helps you stop fighting your brain's natural ups and downs and start planning around them instead. Track when you're actually sharp versus drained, build realistic systems for both versions of yourself, and create your personal toolkit for making boring tasks bearable. It's designed for real life with fluctuating brain chemistry, not perfect motivation that never comes.
What’s actually helping: Routinery
You know that moment when your brain feels like cotton and even deciding what to eat feels impossible? Here's something that removes all the thinking from basic tasks: step-by-step visual routines that guide you through low-energy periods.
Routinery (included in our bundle with a 6-month free trial) breaks down your morning, evening, or work routines into simple visual steps with built-in timers. Instead of staring at your bathroom wondering what comes next, you see: "Brush teeth - 2 minutes" followed by "Take vitamins - 30 seconds."
It's like having a GPS for your daily tasks. During high-energy weeks, you might not need it. But when you're in a low cycle and even basic self-care feels overwhelming, the visual guidance removes all decision fatigue and keeps you moving forward.
It's not perfect. Some find the notifications annoying, and if you hate structure, this might feel too rigid. But for those mornings when even "get ready" feels overwhelming, it removes all the mental work of figuring out what comes next. The bundle is now available to both monthly and yearly subscribers. Learn more about Routinery and other tools by clicking the orange text here.
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