8 Ways to Control Emotions with ADHD
Understand why emotions hit so hard and start feeling more in control when they do.
You get a text that feels a little cold. Your brain spins it into a worst-case scenario. Maybe they’re mad. Maybe you did something wrong. Maybe they secretly hate you. Wait, does everyone hate you? You try to shake it off, but that tight feeling stays. And before you know it, one tiny moment derailed your entire day. Again.
If you’ve ever felt like your emotions are “too much,” too fast, or just too hard to manage - you’re not broken. You’re not overreacting or being melodramatic. This is a part of ADHD that rarely gets talked about: emotional intensity, rejection sensitivity, and dysregulation. Let’s talk about it.
As always, stick to the end for our ‘Apply It’ Worksheet so the tips actually stick, and change starts to happen!
Why emotions hit so hard
If you’ve ever wondered, “Why do I feel things this deeply?” - you’re asking the right question. Researchers and clinicians have known for decades that adults with ADHD often experience:
Emotional lability (mood shifts that feel fast and out of proportion)
Rejection-sensitive dysphoria (RSD) (feeling crushed by perceived criticism or disapproval)
Low frustration tolerance (getting upset over minor setbacks)
Difficulty regulating responses once an emotion is triggered
It goes beyond just "feeling too much." Once a strong emotion takes hold, it's also hard to pull yourself back.
This is called emotional dysregulation, and for many ADHDers it’s one of the hardest parts of daily life. You might go from calm to flooded in seconds. And once it hits, it’s hard to manage.
So what’s going on?
Alright, so let’s break it down. Researchers have linked ADHD to an imbalance between the brain’s emotional accelerator and its emotional brakes.
The “accelerator” is the areas in the brain that generate and process emotions - the amygdala (almond-shaped structure deeeep in the brain) and related limbic regions.
The “brake” - primarily the prefrontal cortex (just behind the forehead), is responsible for regulating impulses and emotions, weighing consequences and calming down the amygdala’s alarms.
In practical terms, the prefrontal cortex (the brake), helps modulate emotional reactions coming from the amygdala and limbic centers. It receives a flood of emotional information: Did I talk too much in the meeting today, Why does everything feel so hard, Does my partner secretly hate me? and is responsible for telling us “okay, take a breath, you are fine”. In ADHD, this system is imbalanced… The result: the amygdala and related regions can go into overdrive (strong emotional reactions), while the frontal “brakes” aren’t pumping as hard as they should to slow things down. This is why minor things can feel big and completely take over your head space - as there is a lack of regulation!
This imbalance between emotional acceleration and regulation helps explain why rejection or criticism can feel unbearable - aka rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD). In the ADHD brain, a perceived rejection can light up pain and fear centers in an instant. But the regions that are supposed to help evaluate, soothe, or reframe that reaction aren’t always able to respond quickly or strongly enough. The emotional wave takes over before logic can step in. In a neurotypical brain, the prefrontal cortex would step in to help soothe that reaction.
Strategies to navigate emotional storms
You’re not aiming to shut off your emotions or stay calm all the time. The idea is to feel things just with a bit more space to respond instead of getting completely swept away. The tools below can help with that.